Runt's Bliggidy-Blog

A shout-out to my hommies in need. Please help!

nobody@vox.com(Runt) — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 12:58:18 -0700

I was going to Noah's today in Laurel Heights when I came across a few of my homies in need of some help. I thought, "What better place than Vox to find some help for these guys!"

This is Lars, Nora, and Peaches:

It breaks my heart to know that my friends don't have a warm bed to cuddle on, a great mommy to sneeze on in the middle of the night, a great daddy to play outside with in the sun, and someone to give them tuna every morning like they deserve, and like I have. Lars, Nora and Peaches are all great kitties and deserve a very loving home, and I know they'd give their mommy and daddy lots of love and affection.

If you think you can help one of my homies out, make your way over by Noah's in Laurel Heights... or contact the SPCA. There's lots of cool cats just like me (well, not quite as cool as me, but close) out there that are in need of good homes and Vox accounts. Please help them, or send this to a friend of yours that can help, or a friend of a friend...

Thanks... meow.

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From Laguna Hills... to "The Hills"... to "The Can"!

nobody@vox.com(Runt) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 16:24:08 -0800

I'd like to give a big shout out to Jason Wahler. You may know him as "Jason" (i.e. - Lauren's boyfriend) from "The Hills" and previously from "Laguna Hills... the real OC". Well, apparently being a "bad boy reality TV star" doesn't gain you much leeway from the legal system, because Jason was just sentenced to 2 months in jail for assaulting a city worker (tow truck driver) a year ago.

Apparently the tow truck driver was working on hooking up an illegally parked car and was subsequently blocking Jason and his friend. So Jason does what any spoiled rich brat would do... he yells racial slurs and then punches the guy and knocks him down. Then his friend proceeds to kick the guy while he's down and spit in his face. Oh, did I mention his BAC was .22 at the time?

As if that wasn't enough bad press, Jason was arrested for underage drinking in Greenville N.C. last week.

Way to go Jason!!! But I think you'll be the one on the receiving end of racial slurs and assault (of the sexual kind) in the can.

AboutToBeABitch

Question for Lauren... Aren't you glad you skipped out on that internship in Paris for this guy? Nice move!

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Your prayers have been answered people... The Runt-ster is back!!

nobody@vox.com(Runt) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 11:18:42 -0800

Alright kids... I apologize for my recent absence from blogging and letting you know what's going on in this crazy world. But I was off on a trek around the world. I saw some crazy shit, I'm not going to lie. I went to a full moon party in Thailand, and let me tell you... whoa... I don't even know if I can tell you.

Have you ever seen Legends of the Fall? You know where Brad Pitt is talking about sailing around the world to these crazy islands where the people are painted all white and freaky like, and kill these crazy animals no one has ever heard of? That was like my trip... I mean crazy. Well, here's a picture for you... but only one, and no more discussion on the topic. Because as they say in Thai, "ging pac lou", or, what happens at the full moon party in Thailand stays at the full moon party in Thailand.

Full Moon Party

Okay, so you'll have to forgive me as I'm just now adjusting back to normal life in the States. I'm trying to get acclimated back into reality... you know, like what's going on with Lauren in "The Hills", will Nolan and Blake make peace in "Dance Life", and will Chauncey move in with his girl on "Maui Fever". I mean there's a lot to get caught up on.

But there is one topic that requires immediate attention, and it is involving American Idol. In the next few weeks I'll give a run down on the contestants and who will win, but for now... will someone, someone, PLEASE let that Sanjia kid know that you NEVER EVER EVER tell all of America that you know how to hula dance, and then proceed to demonstrate it and then blow a kiss to the american TV watching audience.

Now, before people go and get mad at me, I have run this thought past my gay friends and they have agreed. I'm sorry, but you have now been nicknamed "gay-jia".

Gay-Jia

I mean dude... you are a dude, right? I'm baffled...

More to come later as I get situated.

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Some interesting facts to start your day...

nobody@vox.com(Runt) — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 10:57:35 -0800

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death!

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is att ached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The flea can jump 350 ti mes its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

Polar bears are left-handed.

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QotD: It Wasn't Me. I Swear.

nobody@vox.com(Runt) — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 11:41:48 -0800

Ever get away with saying somebody else did it?

One time I came home drunk from the bars and in my drunken stooper, I didn't quite make it to the litter box before relieving my bladder. I realized what I had done, and came up with a plan. My dad's roommate had also been drinking that night, and was passed out on the couch. So I got a glass of water, poured it on the carpet in a trail from the "scene of the crime" to the door of my dad's roommate. It was perfect... my dad thought his roommate had literally pee'd all the way to his room. Hilarious.

I mean after all, everyone knows that cats only pee in the litter box, right? ;)

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Check out my new blog design... but only if you're not on acid.

nobody@vox.com(Runt) — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 15:42:37 -0800

I chose this design because I have no earthly idea what the f*** it is!!! It looks like "Grimace on crack" trying to teach a buck-tooth salamander how to spell??? I have no idea... this is so weird. But oddly enough, I enjoy looking at it.

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For those of you that hate Rosie O'Donnel...

nobody@vox.com(Runt) — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 16:16:50 -0800

This is one of the funniest (and best) things I've ever seen. I personally can't stand Rosie O'Donnel, she's annoying and a screaming liberal. However, it appears that "The Donald" flat out hates her... check this out.

God this is great... this is one of the reasons I love Donald Trump so much. Best comments of the clip:

1. I'd look her in that fat ugly face of hers...

2. We're all a little chubby, but Rosie's just the worst.

DONALD TRUMP VS. ROSIE

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